Jul 2 2019

Let me Google that for you!

Have a complaint that makes little to no sense? Believe in fringe conspiracies that are completely ridiculous? Think that “THE GOVERNMENT” is out to get you? Have a difficult time understanding the complexities of modern living? Don’t understand how something works? Too lazy to fact check for yourself? I’m your guy! Message me your ludicrous notion, idea, or belief and I’ll Google it for you so you have the full set of facts to make sure that you double-down on your ignorance! Why open your mind to other possibilities when the voices in your head are screaming their insanity louder than any fact or reason could possibly surmount?

Private message me and I’ll publicly post your ignorant question along with links to relevant information showing you that you’re dumb as a stump and shouldn’t be allowed to procreate.

What’s more is that I’ll guaranty DOUBLE your money back! What’s DOUBLE times Free? DOUBLE FREE! You won’t find this deal anywhere else!

This entry can’t believe the things it’s seen!

Sep 30 2010

Lost in translation

I love my Google Voice service. The tools it provides in managing phone calls and message alerts is incredible, considering it’s a free service. One nice thing that it does is translates voice mail into text, then sends it to me as an email to my Gmail account and as an SMS Text message to my phone (breaking it into multiple texts, if longer than 160 characters).

Every so often I’ll get a message that proves to be a challenge for Google Voice to translate properly. Incidentally, it seems to have this problem with the same people leaving a message. I thought I’d share the latest voice mail-to-text message, as I found it quite perplexing …

“Hey Dave It’s wrong that I hey Canada capacity as money and not And I need everything over into a folder called old email, and I want to gmail. Like mail the on Dot Com and i are tied on my own messages and I just needed all of You know my older contacts in Bernie my old emails women archives front about how it works or whatever, so I’m not sure I would think that maybe I would just check in with you again and it doesn’t look like it’s doing and I sent some test from my work email to my personal email so if you can. 8 call me just definitely yeah. So anyway, I’ll look forward to hearing from you get when you get a chance talk to you soon bye bye.”

I’m not exactly sure, but there seems to be some sort of problem with Canada’s capacity that I need to resolve. I’ll see what I can do to fix that.

This entry wants Dave to know that he can’t do that.

Jun 15 2009

Best picture ever?

Found this photo on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com:

It made me laugh. Lots.

This entry likes funny photos.

Jun 4 2009

I wanna be a writer

One of my friends is a recruiter. She matches people with companies looking to hire someone for a specific role. She forwarded me a funny email exchange she had with somebody who was interested in a medical writer position she had posted.


From: [wannabe medical writer]
Subject: Fw: medical writer

> Hi
> Am a health care worker who is also a writer
> Have been writing for many years.
> Have a post grad degree in pharmacology (Phd)
> Have over 700 health related articles
Have attached two of my writing samples
> Reliable and punctual.
> [name removed]
> below are some medical sites that i have written for.
> [links to sites removed]

Her reply:

Dear [wannabe medical writer],

Your message below does not have any complete sentences nor correct punctuation which does not demonstrate to us that you have strong writing abilities.

Best of luck in your search.


u are a first class fool

punctuation, stick it up your arse

This applicant is also quite eloquent, it seems. Needless to say, he’s not going to be considered for the writing position.

This entry wants to stick some punctuation up its arse!

Mar 20 2009

A B or not a B

I’ve been following this guy’s YouTube videos for awhile now. He takes clips from Star Trek (and other sources) and creates some bizarre and hilarious shorts from them. Here’s his latest:

This entry loves Star Trek mash-ups.

Mar 3 2009

I think I found it *click*

I was helping a client today troubleshoot their Internet connection. Their office is over 600 miles away, so on-site support was out of the question. I had to work with one of the 2 people that works in their office and walk them through checking cables, indicator lights, resetting things, etc. This is part of our conversation:

Client: OK, so what am I looking for again?

Me: A network cable.

Client: Oh, OK. They’re the fat phone cord looking ones, right?

Me: Yes. The ends look like large phone cord connectors.

Client: All right … (sounds of her moving things around for about 30 seconds) .. Oh! Here’s one.

Me: Great, now let’s follow it to one end and see where it’s connected.

Client: This is a long sucker, must be almost a hundred feet.

Me: Are you sure it’s a network cable? It should be just like the ones we were connecting to the router, but longer.

Client: Yeah, this looks just like those.

Me: Good. Are you able to trace it back to where it’s connected?

Client: Yeah, I think so … it’s pretty tangled up, though.

Me: All right. When you find where it plugs in, unplug it and plug it back in until you hear or feel it click to make sure it’s connected properly.

Client: Ah! I think I found it *click*

Me: Hello?

Just another day in tech support.

This entry still can’t stop shaking its head.

Jan 8 2009

Tilt Shifted Monster Trucks

This video was processed in a way that made the real monster truck rally look like it was a bunch of toys:

I couldn’t help but laugh at some of the parts.

This entry wants to go play with its Tonkas in the dirt!

Dec 26 2008

Playing with toys

Rece picked up some of these little guys at Ikea today and I couldn’t help but set them up for a photo.


December 26, 2008

If you didn’t already notice, I made the one of them kissing a little warmer shade than the punching photo for added effect.

Right now, Rece and I are busy clearing out our bedrooms and patching holes in the wall in preparation of painting. My room is long overdue for a completely different color. I’ll be posting some before and after pictures. I’m so looking forward to something other than hot pink!

This entry hopes the room will be more masculine now.

Dec 22 2008

Evil Lego Lives

I’ll definitely have to try doing this month of photos project again – but in Summer, when I have more daylight. I’m finding that I’ll get stuck helping out clients and working that when I’m done it’s already close to 5:00 pm and it’s almost dark outside! Add to that my inherent tendency towards procrastination and it’s proving to be unusual to find me posting a shot that was taken during the day. At least I try to have fun with it!

 December 22, 2008 - Evil Lego Lives

I keep Evil Lego in my camera bag. It was done so that if I ever happened to find a bad situation happening that I could take a picture of, I might be able to place Evil Lego in the foreground so that it might look as though he might have had something to do with it. So far it hasn’t happened, but I’ll be carrying him around with my camera from now on. Expect to see more of him from time to time.

This entry isn’t bad; it’s just drawn that way.

Dec 16 2008

Classical Chicken

Who doesn’t love The Muppets?

[flash http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ob6TTU1knUM]

This entry is craving chicken.