{"id":53,"date":"2006-01-04T17:54:00","date_gmt":"2006-01-05T00:54:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/standlikeaman.com\/gabe\/?p=53"},"modified":"2006-01-04T17:54:00","modified_gmt":"2006-01-05T00:54:00","slug":"the-meeting-that-wouldnt-die","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/standlikeaman.com\/gabe\/the-meeting-that-wouldnt-die","title":{"rendered":"The Meeting That Wouldn&#8217;t Die"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>This afternoon I was forced to sit in a 2-hour meeting of sheer boredom. It was a web\/teleconference that went over the features and setup of a new web portal for our partner organizations (agencies). There were about 12 staff in attendance. 10 minutes in, I realized that I understood the entire thing already&#8230; leaving 110 more minutes of having to listen to the pleasant lady on the speakerphone describe everything she was doing on the screen (via <a href=\"http:\/\/www.webex.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">WebEx<\/a>) in excruciating detail. My mind began to wander, so I decided to write down everything that popped into my head during the meeting. Here&#8217;s the complete list of thoughts that passed through my mind&#8230;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>I&#8217;m a happy, happy boy!<\/li>\n<li>I like to draw with crayons and climb trees.<\/li>\n<li>My bicycle goes very fast! I like to race cars.<\/li>\n<li>Where did my brain go?<\/li>\n<li>What am I doing here?<\/li>\n<li>Dear God, make it stop!<\/li>\n<li>What is this for?<\/li>\n<li>Can I fit a whole avocado in my mouth?<\/li>\n<li>What&#8217;s for dinner?<\/li>\n<li>I need a hair cut.<\/li>\n<li>Please don&#8217;t fall asleep before the meeting ends.<\/li>\n<li>If I strapped a rocket to a dog&#8217;s back, would it fly? Would it blow up?<\/li>\n<li>PIE! I like pie! Mmmm&#8230;<\/li>\n<li>What is Jennifer doing with her arm? It looks weird, but I like it.<\/li>\n<li>Can I get the time I lost in this meeting back?<\/li>\n<li>How much did this meeting cost the company, in terms of salary paid for staff just to attend it?<\/li>\n<li>Rolling podiums are cool.<\/li>\n<li>Jeanne really looks like she&#8217;s paying attention to this.<\/li>\n<li>How much would it cost for a propane camping stove?<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;d like to go camping soon.<\/li>\n<li>Maybe just a nice light hike.<\/li>\n<li>I just want to hoot and cheer right now.<\/li>\n<li>COFFEE &#8211; MUST HAVE COFFEE!!!<\/li>\n<li>By my estimates, this meeting has cost about $300 in staff time so far.<\/li>\n<li>I wonder what [my love] is doing right now.<\/li>\n<li>It will be fun to see Quinn next weekend.<\/li>\n<li>Is Courtney (the lady on the phone) cute? She sounds cute.<\/li>\n<li>My fingers hurt from practicing guitar last night.<\/li>\n<li>There&#8217;s soda or coffee spilled on the table &#8211; that&#8217;s messy!<\/li>\n<li>Yesenia looks so bored, maybe she&#8217;ll fall asleep.<\/li>\n<li>The computer was so bored, it fell asleep too! (I had to wiggle the mouse to wake it up)<\/li>\n<li>BIG BLACK MARKERS &#8211; BLANK IT OUT! Just like the FBI.<\/li>\n<li>Mulder and Scully were cool.<\/li>\n<li>Must ask seemingly interesting questions! (and I did) Okay, that worked!<\/li>\n<li>Now we&#8217;re probably pushing around $450 in staff time for this meeting.<\/li>\n<li>Knowing glances around the room &#8211; everybody wants this meeting to end.<\/li>\n<li>If I poke this pencil into my eyeball, would it just spring a leak, or could I get it to pop?<\/li>\n<li>I was just told that this tele\/web conference cost us $500!! So we&#8217;re now at close to $1000 for a meeting that really didn&#8217;t accomplish anything.<\/li>\n<li>And I wonder why I haven&#8217;t received a significant raise lately&#8230;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-size:85%;\">This entry was brought to you by a brain-dead I.T. guy. OY!<\/span><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This afternoon I was forced to sit in a 2-hour meeting of sheer boredom. It was a web\/teleconference that went over the features and setup of a new web portal for our partner organizations (agencies). There were about 12 staff in attendance. 10 minutes in, I realized that I understood the entire thing already&#8230; leaving [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-53","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/standlikeaman.com\/gabe\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/standlikeaman.com\/gabe\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/standlikeaman.com\/gabe\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/standlikeaman.com\/gabe\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/standlikeaman.com\/gabe\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=53"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/standlikeaman.com\/gabe\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/standlikeaman.com\/gabe\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=53"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/standlikeaman.com\/gabe\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=53"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/standlikeaman.com\/gabe\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=53"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}