Sherise’s mother suffered a brain aneurysm on Monday, October 10th, 2007 at approximately 3:30 pm. This effectively ended her short life of 53 years. The many tubes and medications that the doctors had stuck into her did nothing to bring her back. Her pupils were unresponsive, she did not respond to any pain stimulus: her brain was dead.

Yesterday Rece and I went to the ICU to join her family in their time of need. Rece wanted to see the grandmother he never met. We went into her ICU and saw her in the hospital bed with tubes and devices connected to her failing body. He was sad, but it seemed as though it was in reaction to hearing of a death of somebody he didn’t know. I found that to be one of the many saddening things about the visit.

In a way I’m glad he didn’t get to know her. She was full or pride and hate and spite. She was physically abusive to her daughter as she grew up, then, as an adult, was verbally abusive until I stepped in and told her that it had to stop. And stop it did … she broke off all contact with us while Sherise was still 5-6 months pregnant with Rece. Over the years she made deliberate efforts to avoid us and exclude us from events where she would be present. In this effort she was successful. It was difficult for Sherise to deal with, but I sincerely believe it was for the best.

Sherise still doesn’t know that her mother is gone. On Sunday, while Rece was spending his every-other-weekend with her, she left “to run some errands” he told me. A few hours later he left to return to my home, as planned. Sherise had not yet returned by the time he had he left. When her grandmother called me about what was happening and tried to reach Sherise, I was unable to provide any additional contact information, so I immediately left work and went directly to her home. I was greeted by her live-in boyfriend who appeared very concerned, asking if I had seen Sherise. He told me that the last time he had seen her was when he left for work on Sunday, while Rece was there. She had disappeared … again.

He shared with me that a couple of weeks earlier he confronted Sherise about her unpredictable behavior (more disappearances). He said that she admitted to having a drug problem and that it was “meth” that she had been on. Undoubtedly this is likely the reason for her recent absence in her normal life. It is also the reason for her being unavailable to learn of her mother’s passing.

I’m shocked by the death of Amy Victoria McManama (Lewis) and the news of Sherise’s descent into the world of drug addiction. At this point my job is to provide the best home as I can for Rece.

This entry doesn’t quite know what to do with it all.